writing poems when i should be studying

Strip it away,
or better yet
help me
to lay it down at your feet.

Everything
that I'm holding on to,
keeping me
from total abandon to you.

Distractions never stop,
so I must learn
to keep my eyes on you alone
again.

Same old lesson.
I go around in circles,
but you keep reminding me
you are all I need.

I want it.
I'll take it.
You,
and only you.

"sunshine" part 2

Sorry that my last few posts have all been kind of depressing. I must have been in a weird funk, like some poet who wears only black and won't eat anything with flavor and seeks to entertain his dark themed writing. Anyhow, I think I'm out of it now. I'm trying to write more happy poems. My mind tends to go where my poetry lives. Therefore happy poems equals a happier me. So far it's working.

After receiving some unfortunate news my thoughts returned to a post from a few weeks ago. The reason that feel I am a different person when I am at work during the summer vs. when I am at school is because, when I'm at work, my life is segregated. It isn't hard to be happy all the time when it is only for 6-8 hrs a day. Once work is over I get a nice hour or so drive to relax, listen to music, collect my thoughts, and then be home to different people. When I'm at school I don't get to escape from my life and responsibilities. Life doesn't end at 5pm. There is no clocking-out of friendships, conflict with other people, avoiding or tolerating people I don't mesh well with. When I'm in Seattle there is just one me, 24-7. My only escapes are church and the occasional trip to visit a friend who lives outside my house. So even though the holly in Seattle isn't always quite as easy going and doesn't always smile as big, I think that she is closer to the real me.



Here is a picture of me and my friend Julie. We ran the Husky Dawg Dash together last week. We are so fast that we don't even have to train. (truth be told, the only reason I go is for the shirt)

Useless

I hate the feeling of uselessness. Maybe it comes from my overly independent nature and desire to be in control. I considered being a nurse for a while purely because, if someone I loved was sick or in pain, I would be able to do something and help them. As it is I can't do much to help those I love who are physically hurting, and even less for those who are going through emotional pains and life trials. All I can do is pray.....not that that isn't wonderful, but I'm really into the tangible, make-it-better, action kind of help. I want to fix everyone's problems and make them happy.
Yet I sit here useless.